when do you know?

When do you know that you're over it? As much as I'm trying to go with it, I feel like i should just give up on that whole situation. I wish i could say that it doesn't effect me anymore and that's when you know, but I feel this....void. No matter what I do, I still feel it. I don't feel hungry anymore, all I want to do is crawl into my bed and stay there. Maybe its not him, maybe its everything in general. Not being in Mississauga is - well going to be different. Everything is changing, and don't get me wrong, I LOVE change but this one I don't think I'm prepared for.

Maybe it was him telling me that he's planning to move next year - 'anywhere but Canada' were his words exactly. No attachment right? Feelings and emotions are too complicated. I don't want them anymore.

ps. i apologize when things stop making sense - I don't really realize it when im typing and it may seem like i have no clue what im talking about, and most of the time, thats what it is....sorry

xox

what is a girl supposed to do?

The question that girls ask themselves - a lot. After my experiences last night, and not good experiences for that matter, i figured out who actually cares and who doesn't. One of my best friends kept me company while i wasn't feeling too well while the guy that claims to care and that I'm one of his core friends didn't check up on me once. Random people that I knew for maybe 3 hours tops were checking up on me. Really makes me feel wanted (key: sarcasm). Here's how most of the night went:

Goal: Give Kat a hangover
End Result: unsuccessful.

BUT - the events inbetween is where its interesting or funny depending on how you see it.

so I'll assume that most of you can guess the actions up to me going home. After making sure that i was comfortable and have water for whenever i needed it, i passed out to say the least. This is where my actions start to become amusing. I don't remember walking up the stairs to my room, but i do remember waking up at 5ish, drinking water and of course feeling sick again. I wrapped myself in a towel so i wouldn't get cold because my room is freezing. Then, i went downstairs to get my phone - texted this best friend apologizing for everything..then went back to bed. Woke up again at 6ish, went downstairs to make food cause i figured that i needed it. Feeling better at this point, i curl up in a ball as I'm eating this ONE perogy that I made cause i decided that starch was good for me at the time. After the perogy, I go back upstairs and go to bed. Next thing i know, i wake up at 8, go back to bed...then 10. At this point, I'm awake - WITHOUT a hangover..

Now for those that don't know, this drink was death. It was easily 1/4 of a 2 6 of greygoose and a red bull, half half. It's what you would call death for 5'6'' asian girl. So no hangover - THAT is what you call impressive.

note to self: do not drink to mask unwanted feelings - they don't get better as you drink more..

xox

new philosophy...part 2

Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right; forget the ones who don't; and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. No body said it would be easy, they just said it'd be worth it.

Live by those words and you are golden =)

xox

new philosophy...part 1

So i have a new philosophy to life. Since all the unnecessary drama in my life as of late due to boys and school, this is what i came up with:

"My life is surrounded by people that actually care and if push came to shove, they would be there for me. So I have the BEST life in the world and anyone that doesn't care enough to be an actual part of it - screw you."

I think thats a good positive step to not care anymore. Seems uber logical to me. So this is the trial period. There are 6 billion people in the world, what makes that ONE stupid boy worth it?...nothing at all. =)

xox

please explain this to me

How the hell is it possible that a guy likes everything about you but doesn't want to do anything about? This concept confuses me....like a lot. I don't even know what to think about anything anymore. So much for going with the flow. There is no flow to go with anymore. F*** relationships. F*** dating. I'm done. That was the last straw