Well I'm not in seattle thats for sure, though i do love the city. I've come to a new realization that some of you might already know. I'm taking myself off the market - completely! - starting today. I believe that little problems in life (mostly caused by myself of men) are starting to build up, so my new philosophy ensues. It's a new day so I can start off fresh and maybe get some sleep finally. Lately, I've gotten into bed and just laid there for god knows how long and the next thing I know, I'm tossing and turning in my bed and it's pitch black. When the sun finally starts to rise, that's when my eyes close and i start to feel like I'm getting some rest. Well apparently when the sun is up - my alarm goes off - who would have thought.
I've tried to physically exhaust my body so I can actually sleep but that doesn't work. I've tried not thinking and just let my mind go - and that unfortunately leads to not so good places sometimes. I've even tried to type it all out, and that doesn't work either. I'm out of options. Next step - my social life will take a toll this weekend. I'm not going out - which means that i can go to bed early (like that's going to happen) and sleep in til the wee hours of the day. Work needs to get done and gym needs to...well...i need to go to the gym lol. So I have no clue how thats going to work out, but I'll be sure to update you.
Speaking of updates, I shall start a semi-journal (i guess thats what you would call it) about myself being off the market. This will act as an AA meeting for alcoholics. How many days "sober"...Oh, for those of you that are wondering why I'm doing this - its kind of a complicated story but the jist of the matter is that I don't know if I'm going to be back in Toronto next year. To me, there's no point in starting something when I can't be sure of anything on my own. How is that fair right? For once, I can truly say that I don't have a clue what I want in terms of my 'love life' - or lack thereof. I just want to graduate and going on what is said to be my life.
so far - this is day 2 - wish me luck
xox
No comments:
Post a Comment